Written by Andromeda Raheem
You don’t have to like her to respect and see value in her. You don’t have to like her to pray for her. You don’t have to like her to want the best for her. You don’t have to like her to uplift her and encourage her to become her best self.
The toughest job of my life has been convincing women of the importance of uniting with each other and supporting one another. I can understand why because I also come from a past that included not so happy experiences with other females. I have been bullied, betrayed, gossiped about, lied on, intentionally ignored, and used. At one point in my life, I decided that I would be better off not dealing with females at all to preserve my heart, sanity, and energy. That was until I realized that was not the answer to my problem and chose to instead become the change I want to see in the world. Instead of hoarding anger in my heart for the women who hurt me and taking my pain out on those who did nothing to me, I shifted my heart to having empathy for all women. To do so, I had to step out of my own shoes and step into theirs. Regardless of how I may feel, I know that no female is born jealous, insecure, mean, or hateful. Something happened to them along the way that made them that way. Now, that is not an excuse for bad behavior, but it is a reason.
I have had my own share of struggles with insecurity and battles within myself and my mind due to my past experiences. Every person comes into this world with a blank slate, but I know all too well and have seen firsthand how the world can chew people up and spit them out if they’re not educated and protected. It requires a daily conscious and intentional effort on my part to overcome my struggles and not allow my past to negatively affect my present and future. Although I have reached a level of understanding and empowerment that helps me to have control over myself and my life, I recognize that not every female around me has. So, instead of judging or ridiculing them for acting inappropriately, I give them grace because I understand that we are all growing and learning at a different pace. There was definitely a time when I didn’t know all that I know now so instead of dismissing others for not knowing better, I attempt to be an example for them as well as find ways to inspire and encourage them to be better. This doesn’t mean that I’ll like every woman I meet or want to be their bestie, it simply means that I have compassion for them as humans and understand that if we are all operating at our best, the world will be a much better place for all of us.
If you understood how connected we all are and how each of our actions will affect future generations, you too would understand why it is so important that we encourage and empower one another to be confident, know our worth, and not settle for less than we deserve. Confident women aren’t home-wreckers. Whole women aren’t raising broken children. Happy women don’t hate on other women. The generational curses and negative cycles will continue until we all recognize what part we play in keeping them going and take corrective action. Someone’s daughter was my bully. Someone’s daughter is a mistress to someone’s husband. Someone’s daughter is broken and confused because her mother passed down her brokenness and confusion. Hurt people hurt people.
Compliments, encouraging words, hugs, listening without judgment, genuine love, and compassion will go a long way to heal the heart of a woman who is hurting. No matter what level in life any woman is on, we are all struggling with something. Regardless of whether we like each other or not, the truth is that we all have to live in this world together. Even when we try to act “unbothered” by the actions of others, our lives are affected by the people we are surrounded by and who are affecting our environment. By valuing, helping, supporting, encouraging, motivating, and inspiring each other to be our best selves, we will be improving our own life experiences. Whether you want to accept it or not, the fact of the matter is that “When Women Support Women, We ALL Win!” Don’t just complain about the problems you see in the world, do your part to make the world a better place for yourself, your family, and everyone else to live in.
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