Through the Looking Glass

Chamar Logan
She was super excited to spend some time with him. They were a lot alike in some ways, so she felt a sense of familiarity with him. She checked her makeup one last time in the rearview mirror and started to walk into the restaurant. She walked in and saw him sipping a martini and smiled, he was so handsome, and she couldn’t wait to get their night started. She was anticipating a fun, sexy evening with him for sure, but what she wasn’t anticipating, was how annoyed she would end up. She kept a smile plastered on her face as she heard him talk about himself most of the night. She fought against rolling her eyes as he talked about how amazing he was, so he wanted every woman he met to be just as amazing, it was as if he had absolutely no flaws. The kicker for her, was when he over analyzed something that she said when she meant for it to be lighthearted. She was annoyed and ready to go for sure. For some reason though, she thought to herself “we are a lot alike, I wonder if the same qualities that he has, that are annoying me, are the same qualities that I have, that might annoy others?”. After the date was over, she hopped in her car, turned on her Bluetooth and as she was driving, called a guy friend of hers. “What up sis?” she heard him say through the speakers. She took a deep breath and just said what she felt “Ay yo, I think I’m annoying!” She waited for his response, and almost thought they disconnected as he was silent for a while, suddenly, she heard him snicker, then giggle, then burst out with laughter. “Yooooo sometimes you are! But like, you’re still lovable! You’re a great person, but like, we are all annoying in our own way” he said through laughter. She proceeded to tell him about her date and noticed every “mmhmm” he made at certain points. “So, what do you think?” she asked. “Well, I think that people come into our lives for a reason, and you know that, he might be there to show you parts of yourself. I mean, I was reading something that you actually posted that said, what you find irritating in others, is actually a reflection of you in some small way”. She shook her head and agreed somewhat. She didn’t see this guy’s annoying quirks as red flags, but she definitely wondered if they were something she would be willing to deal with if they decided to have a relationship.

So why did I agree somewhat? Well, I don’t always think the qualities we find annoying in others are a reflection of ourselves, sometimes, we are just annoyed! LOL However, in this case, I am self-reflective enough to know when karma is speaking to me, and she certainly was. For example, I thought back on times where I may have overanalyzed something a guy had said, and now knew exactly how frustrated he felt. Relationships can be so complex, though I tend to think we make them more complex than what they need to be. When I say complex, I mean that they can take on so many different forms, and you never really know what they will end up looking like. Some help us grow, then they are over. Some teach and guide us, then they are over. Some are integral in our development, then they are over. Yet some of the best ones do all of these including teaching us how to love, and they are never over.

Is it something you need to stress over? Absolutely not, chill out and go with the flow. If you are in tune with God and yourself, then you will know what to look for. I knew what I was learning from this guy. Do I think he’s the one? Nah! (though I could be wrong there also, stay tuned LOL) Do I think I am learning from him and he is learning from me? Yes. Is it something unhealthy? Absolutely not, so, while I may be slightly annoyed at some things, I’m not annoyed enough to do the cut off like I normally would.

This is another reason why it is so important to take your time in any relationships. Imagine if I had tried to rush this? Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile we all would’ve been a hot ass mess!

Growth, learning, self-reflection, evolving, loving, they all work in tandem with each other. When you allow things to flow, you can never really lose.


P.S. Please note, that this is not time wasted as we are learning from each other and pushing each other. However, if all that man wanna do is chill and talk about nothing? GET OUT! You are on the verge of wasting your time! But that is for another blog post.

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