She was watching one of her favorite shows Sex and the City, and feeling annoyed. The four women were going over dating rules, and the should and should nots of dating. She took a sip of her red wine and rolled her eyes. She had been hearing this conversation a lot lately and was beginning to feel suffocated by it. Are there really so many rules to dating? Is it really that hard, or do we make it hard? She sat her glass down on the coffee table, and stretched out on her couch. She started thinking about the guy she was talking to and how easily it flowed. They had a few very good dates, and the energy between them flowed quite easily. They had decided to go slow as they were both busy people and one of them was in the process of healing. She had been keeping him a secret from everyone, not for any reason other than, what was happening between them, was between them. She knew that if she even mentioned a date, her girlfriends would inundate her with questions. How is he? When are you going to see him again? Did you talk to him today? Oh no! you two didn’t talk today? What’s going on? When her belief pattern with dating was that two people don’t need to be up under each other all of the time to be stable or whatever. She felt that all of these “rules” were ridiculous and exhausting, and she would be making her own.
Societal rules are such nonsense! I just recently felt comfortable and confident in myself enough to stop living by them, and this includes the rules for dating. To be honest, I think that if you have to start implementing or dating by “rules” with someone, then you probably shouldn’t be dating them. Why do I say that? Because you’re so busy adhering to your rules, that you aren’t getting the chance to actually know the other person. I started thinking back on my dating experiences, and if I had to be honest, there were some that I messed up because of rules, such as “you really like me, you’ll want to talk to me all the time”. These days, listen here, I’m busy! I have a company that I am building, and a fourteen-year-old to raise. If I am texting and cup caking on the phone all day, then what am I really building? This is generally why I like to date guys that are just as busy as me. Now obviously, effort is required here, and if both of us are putting in effort then all systems are go! Now no effort? Goodbye, that’s a simple general rule that I live by.
Therein lies my reason for this post. I do not date based on other people rules! I’d be all over the place, and at one point, I was! I stopped telling people about who I am dating, because I am not interested in others opinions on what I SHOULD be doing. I know what’s right for me these days, and I for damn sure know what I want and what I am willing to deal with. So therefore, I make my own rules when it comes to dating. You have to know what you want! When you know what you want, then you’ll know how to date. Then you won’t be dating by “rules” you’ll be allowing your standards to guide you. If you are emotionally healthy, healed, and ready to date, this will always benefit you. If you’re all over the place emotionally, then chill out until you’re ready.
If there is anything I can say to women when dating, it is this, trust your intuition. Whatever vibe you are feeling is not to be ignored. This applies in everything!
So, this gorgeous man? The vibe is too good, flows too easily and is too organic for me to rush it. Moreover, in the pit of my stomach, I trust him. Whatever is meant to be, will indeed be. Through it all, I am a good woman, who will end up with a great man someday. All these societal rues be damned!