So You’re Looking For Love, But Are You Prepared to Love

She was scrolling through Instagram on the train, idly passing time. She came across a post that caught her eye. The post was from a girlfriend of hers who said she was tired of looking for love. She was often taken aback by how clear her thought pattern had been lately. She was a woman who had come into her own. She was confident, stable, healthy, happy and healed. She thought back to all of the years she spent looking for love, she remembered feeling the same exhaustion. Then she found it, and it was exciting, it was great, and it didn’t last. She was always unhappy and second guessing everything. She smiled to herself and stared at her reflection in the window, it wasn’t until she learned to love herself and her life, that she felt truly ready for love. Essentially, she had stopped looking for love, and began to rest in the fact that she was finally prepared to love.

I am a very aggressive, ambitious woman. I know what I want, and I am working very hard to have the life I want. If you are reading this, and you find yourself in these qualities, then baby, welcome to the control club! However, the thing about love is, it can’t be controlled. Love does whatever it wants, and comes to whoever it wants…when they are ready to receive it.

I know, I know, I didn’t give you, someone who is searching for love, and wants that forever kind of relationship, any kind of comfort. What I am giving you is the truth, the kind of truth you can run away from, but will catch up to you at some point. There is a love that you can have 100% control over, and you’re going to roll your eyes at me again, but the love that you can control is self-love.

Too often, we go searching for love in others and forget about the love within ourselves. I am telling you what I know, until you love yourself first, every relationship you have will suffer. Why is that? Think about the golden rule ”treat others as you would want yourself to be treated”. If you have yet to love yourself, and give yourself the treatment you want others to show you, how do you expect to give that to someone else? It all starts with you. I know, it’s cliché as HELL but it’s truth!

If you find yourself exhausted from the search, take a breather, bench yourself and start to self-reflect. Focus on your own personal growth and development, love yourself, and all of the amazing things you are desperately searching to give to someone else, give them to yourself first and foremost. When you do that, the love you seek will start to overflow in your life, from every area, and when you finally get the king or queen you want, you’ll know how to treat them like royalty, and they’ll reciprocate. How do you know they will reciprocate? Because you’ll love yourself too much, to stay with someone that doesn’t. So NOW your choices are not forced, out of obligation or desperation. You are loving that person because you truly want to, and it is flowing right back to you.

Now that I have healed, found my own love, stability, happiness and self-worth, have I found love? In many different ways yes, romantically, not yet. However, I remain hopeful, open, and prepared to love. That man is going to be one lucky ass, spoiled, happy man!



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