A few years back, Drake released a song entitled “No New Friends” where he talks about still being down with his old friends and not needing any new ones. I’m not even going to lie, at that time, I loved the song and the message. Not only was it catchy, I genuinely felt that way. My small circle was tight, and I felt fulfilled. As time passed by, I began to grow up, and as I got older and wiser, I realized how stupid that message is. We all need new friends! I slowly started to realize that I needed to expand my circle because I no longer felt fulfilled, and I was willing to make a change.
As I reflect on my past, I’ve noticed that I may have been in my own way of building additional friendships because, I have trust issues. Building up a wall has been my go to, and it’s easy for me to do so. The wall serves as my protector, and prevents anyone with malicious intent from contaminating my peace. Although, this was my way of protecting myself, I recognized that it can serve as detrimental to my personal growth. Don’t get me wrong, I am a work in progress. So while I am more open to new friendships, I tread lightly because I am well aware of what I require in a friend and when to walk away. Friendships, like romantic relationships, can be abusive and toxic. If you feel you are in a toxic friendship, address it, or walk away. If you are unsure of if you are in a toxic friendship, ask yourself, after talking to this person, How do I feel? Do I feel mentally exhausted like all my energy was snatched from me? If yes, you may be in a toxic friendship.
The thing is this, there are so many people in the world to connect to, that we are not forced to stay in energy draining, trust depreciated, one sided relationships. I have been on a journey this year to focus on me, build better relationships, and be a better person. That consists of dealing with people differently, and purging some contacts, or contact with some people. I am now at peace. When you have organizations such as Women By Choice that allow you to connect with women who genuinely support you, you realize that you do not have to take any B.S. from mediocre friendships.
Be accountable for your own happiness! Sometimes we allow friendships and relationships to disturb our mental tranquility. Stop it! Go out and get a new group of friends. Friends that support you. Friends that ask how you are doing and actually care to know how you are doing. Friends that you can reach out to to feed your mind spiritually and intellectually. I challenge you to be open to the idea that you are worthy of a supportive circle, and go out and get some new friends. Communication is key!
“When Women Support Women, We All Win”-Andromeda Raheem