The thought, “I’ve had enough of entrepreneurship”, goes through my mind at least once a month. I have days when I really try to convince myself that going back to work as an accountant or just working for someone else would make my life a lot simpler. I tell myself that it would relinquish the huge responsibility I currently have of managing a global network for women. It would make it easier to plan my life because I’d know exactly how much my income will be each month. I could spend a lot less time on social media because I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping myself or Women by Choice relevant, growing, and successful. I could go back to just focusing on making myself, my family, and my friends happy. However, after going through all the motions, I always come back to one question, “Will that choice ultimately make me happy in the long run?”.
Entrepreneurship is no doubt difficult. I know that from the outside looking in, I may make it look a lot more easy and effortless than it is, but I have never experienced more ups and downs in my life. My journey for the last 4 years has been a real roller coaster ride. I’ve lost and I’ve gained. I’ve won and I’ve failed. I’ve been high and I’ve been low. I’ve opened my heart and been disappointed. I’ve received unexpected favor and blessings. I’ve sacrificed a lot of myself and my assets and haven’t always felt like I got a fair return on every investment. I’ve received opportunities far beyond my wildest dreams. I have lost my mind and found a greater awareness of myself. My faith has been lost, restored, and increased. I’ve been through a lot and as I reflect on just how much I’ve overcome since making the choice to pursue my purpose of uniting and empowering women, I can appreciate that all of it has made me a stronger, wiser, and better woman.
Would going back to work for someone else make my life simpler and make me feel more secure about my future? I think so. Would it make me happier and better? Eh, probably not. This morning, as I watched my husband get up slowly to go to work while fighting a cold, I was reminded that there are pros and cons with every choice. Today, I had the freedom to get up and walk across my apartment to my office to type this blog. Today, I have the opportunity to show up in my life as my complete self without having to hide parts of who I am because I’m working in a place that is not fully accepting of my boldness, honesty, and creativity. Today, I can do meaningful work that not only fulfills me, but positively impacts the lives of other women and future generations. Yes, there is a lot of unknown on this journey and for a person like me who likes to have as much control over my life as possible, some days are really terrifying. However, it’s making the choice to walk into the unknown and push myself out of my comfort zone every day that makes me more aware of my strength and God’s love for me and the work that I do. After 4 years of doing the best I can with what I have, I am still standing and Women by Choice is continuously progressing. I may not have manifested all my visions or have everything I want yet, but seeing growth and having everything that I need is enough for me to keep going.
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