It’s Never Too Late to Choose Better

For years, I felt like my mother didn’t know me and I didn’t know her. The reason for that was lack of communication, but yesterday that changed. She came to visit me this weekend and along with spending some much-needed quality time together, we also sat down and had a long overdue conversation. In having this conversation, I realized just how different people’s perceptions of the same experiences can be and how a lot of family dysfunction can be resolved by communicating effectively. 

As a child, I had certain expectations of my parents that they didn’t always meet. I, like many children, put my parents on a pedestal so when they didn’t show up in my life the way I expected them to, it caused me a lot of disappointment and heartbreak. As an adult, I have more compassion for my parents as I now know very well that being a “grown up” does not mean that you will stop making mistakes or suddenly know everything. I accept that my parents did the best they could based on their own knowledge and upbringing. Recently, without receiving an apology, I made the choice to forgive my parents for the mistakes they made. I had to forgive them to move forward in my life as a happy and healthy woman. However, I had no idea how that choice would open the door for greater healing and understanding. 

Had I not already forgiven my mother and found compassion for her, I’m not sure if our conversation would have went as well as it did. Because I was no longer holding disappointment and resentment in my heart, I was able to speak and listen from a place of love. I was able to take a walk in her shoes and look at the situations that disappointed me most through her eyes. It was a truly humbling and insightful experience. I have since discovered a greater love and respect for my mother because I can now better understand why she made some of the choices she made. 

I wanted to share this to remind you that it’s never too late to be better than you’ve been in the past. It’s never too late to take the high road, heal from your pain, improve your relationships, and create a life you can be proud of. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed or what mistakes have been made, it’s never too late to redeem yourself and start trying to fix what’s broken. I am grateful that even though my childhood memories aren’t the best, I can make new and happier memories with my mother going forward. I am even more grateful that neither of us will leave this world questioning if or how much we love each other. This morning, I woke up feeling lighter and with an indescribable peace in my heart. If there’s a relationship on your heart to make peace with, I encourage you to start the conversation. You might be surprised to find that the issue can be cleared up with a honest and respectful conversation. 

Author: Andromeda, Women by Choice Founder

Andromeda is an Author, Motivational Speaker, Success Coach, and the Founder of Women by Choice Global who is passionate about empowering women to discover their purpose, tap into their power, become the best version of themselves, and ultimately win in life and in business.

2 thoughts on “It’s Never Too Late to Choose Better

  1. Andromeda,

    Thank you so very much for this post. It significantly rings truth in me.

    My mom was a single mother. She raised us with the knowledge that she had along with her own childhood experiences. Those experiences that we bring into our lives and if/when we become a parent filter into our children as well if not recognized and fixed.

    I blamed her for so many things for decades. It wasn’t until 2015ish that I began to heal within and forgive her. Though our relationship was still not close, I accepted it for what it was but would turn into a grizzly if anyone tried to harm her or would be there for her if/when she was ill.

    My full understanding and compassion came into play in late November 2018. I learned something of her past that her mother shared with her. Something that horrified me that a mother would say such traumatic things to her child. That’s when I understood where her behavior streamed from. Though my grandmother passed away when my mom was 15, my mother carried those words with her and I suspect still does.

    This week, I had a horrible experience at work and for the first time in my life, I was moved to call my mom to weep and vent. It turned out to be a great call with great advice. God moved me to call her. I was obedient and blessed behind it.

    Communication is key. Forgiving is key. Love is key. Walking in my woman instead of a little girl is key. Thank you again.

    Tracy

    1. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It warms my heart to read about your journey to healing and creating a healthier relationship with your mother. Just beautiful. I’m grateful that my words resonated with you. As women, if we all were brave enough to share our stories, we’d recognize that we are much more alike than we think. That’s why I share mine and I appreciate you for confirming that I was right to do so. I pray all the best for you and your family. Keep growing and glowing sister.

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