As I’m writing this, I already know that not everyone will agree with me and I may even ruffle some feathers, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t speak my truth regardless of how others feel about it. At nearly 32 years old, I have learned that I can’t please everyone, but I can attract my tribe, my people, those who are meant for me by being true to myself and speaking on issues that matter to me. So, here goes…
One thing I wish that all women would leave in 2017 is the small-minded idea that you have to distance yourself from everyone linked to the one person you had a “falling out” with. This is something that I unfortunately witness far too often and when it happens, my first thought is “girl, grow up”. I won’t pretend like I don’t get it because I do. I’ve been there and done that, but I grew up once I experienced what it felt like to be on the opposite end of it. I have been the girl who cut down the whole tree because of one rotten branch and I have been the girl who lost “friends” and partnerships over situations I had nothing to do with. Neither scenario left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
A few years ago, you could not have convinced me that I would be the founder of a global network for women. Up until 2014, I limited my interactions with females for reasons just like this. I’m not perfect, but I am intentionally working towards becoming the best version of myself so I don’t make time to be in the mix of petty drama or entertain immature behavior. Call me crazy, but I really believe that women can work and win together if we just put forth the effort. Sometimes that means thinking before you react, choosing to be the bigger person, combating negative energy with positive energy, communicating effectively, and not allowing your emotions to interfere with your goals or cause you to do something that you will later regret.
Why does everyone, including you, have to suffer because of a few people who hurt you? If I had allowed my heart to remain bitter because of past bad experiences, I would have never created the Women By Choice Network, which has allowed me to connect and build mutually beneficial relationships with some of the most phenomenal women on the planet. If I were still immature and bitter, I would still be working my unfulfilling government accounting job wishing that I had more female friends who understand me and support me. The point I’m trying to make is that you don’t have to let one bad apple spoil the entire bunch. You don’t have to burn the whole bridge down just because you’re trying to stop one person from crossing over it. You can choose not to give others the power to dictate who you do or don’t associate with. You can put on your big girl panties and be cordial with people you don’t like in spaces where people you do like are present. The person who hurts the most when you intentionally isolate and alienate yourself from an entire group of people, people who care about you or can help you grow, because you had a disagreement with one is you. It also shows your level of maturity and how much you really valued those you chose to cut off in response to pain they did not inflict.
Sometimes the actions you take to get revenge on others is really self-destruction. Before you make an irreversible decision based on temporary feelings, be mindful of the consequences. To learn how to gain more self-control and make choices that will put you in a winning position, read She Wins: The Ultimate Guide for Women to Gain a Winning Mindset and Lead a Winning Lifestyle.